“Pastors are not meant to get therapy” vs. “Pastors really need to get therapy.”
I used to live by statement number one... probably why I ended up living statement number two.
Let me start by saying that I am still a pastor, I still believe in the absolute power of Jesus to heal the heart and I’m still a huge supporter of church counseling and ministry. But I feel compelled to raise my voice and say:
Therapy is not demonic.
Taking antidepressants is not a sin.
Seeing a psychiatrist is not anti-christian.
And those who suffer from mental health problems are not a failure.
Lord knows we need more openness in our congregations because (and this is a fact) 50% of adults will develop depression, PTSD, anxiety, self-harm, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, or some other mental illness in their lifetime.
Half of the people reading this article already have (or currently are). And for the sake of our family, friends and church leaders, we need to break the shame. Jesus is the hope for each and every one of our needs. He’s the miracle worker who, “healed every disease and every sickness.” And when Jesus healed the leper, the demon possessed, the broken-hearted, he never blamed them for their condition. Jesus is not a religious leader who will condemn us if we seek help, Jesus is the high priest who understands our weaknesses.
“My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.”
Yes, that was Jesus talking about himself in Mark 14:34.
He knows how it feels.
Jesus knew Lazarus would rise again.
— Carlos A. Rodríguez (@HappySonship) December 20, 2018
Still, he wept.
Because embracing pain is not negating faith. It's actually part of being in the likeness of God.
So have hope, but don't deny your emotions. Pay attention to them. Feel what you feel.
And enjoy the coming resurrection.
To talk of a person’s mental illness like it was a result of a sin, curse, or demon possession is to further stigmatize, shame, and isolate those who are struggling. It is stone throwing people who need understanding and a helping hand. Yes, it is possible that sin and curses and demons are part of the issue, but we need to focus on the person. And admit that we don’t have all the tools or all the answers for the different situations that need attention.
The church is the place many turn while in crisis. We cannot keep turning away the most vulnerable among us. We have to learn how to approach and relate to their specific needs.
As Brandon Peach wrote,
“Most churches probably have the very best intentions when dealing with issues of mental illness. Like the rest of society, however, the Church may misinterpret these clinical conditions and respond to them in ways that exacerbate them—and as a result, demoralize those suffering. Christ, the Great Physician, came to heal the sick. As His body, it’s time the Church leads society in helping to do the same."
In the past the Body of Christ has had three dominating approaches when dealing with mental illness:
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Treat it exclusively as a spiritual issue.
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Ignore it completely.
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Treat it exclusively as a medical issue.
A few years ago I needed to visit a psychiatrist to talk about my depression. It was
the first time in my life where I actually felt helpless, totally unmotivated and OK with the idea of suicide. Being able to talk to a professional who could specifically diagnose me and recommend treatment was liberating. Actually, in that moment it was the Godliest thing I could do.
However, I also needed friends who listened. I needed my leaders to pray. I needed God’s word and encouragement. And in certain moments, I just needed to ignore it all and focus on the things I love to do.
There are too many families in our congregations who are struggling with addictions and depression and all sorts of abusive behavior. I know that because that was our case. And in the middle of it, prayer was great... but it wasn’t enough. Sounds heretic just writing it. But it’s necessary that we talk about it.
I spent 8 months with a professional counselor who taught me how to manage my anger, improve my moods and take ownership of my situation. He gave me books to read, coached me with technics for relaxation and he saw Catherine and I together for marriage guidance. He used specific evidenced-based treatments to treat my conditions and used cognitive behavioral therapy (stuff I would have never considered before) because after many years in full time ministry and after 10 years of terrible behavior as a husband, I needed professional help.
I used to be so ashamed to share it. Now, I celebrate where God has taken me individually and where God has taken us a couple. And I am so glad I didn’t just go for ministry, or a one-time repentance fix, but actually invested money and time with a health care professional.
It was not perfect. A few times I considered punching my therapist (Hi Dolan! Love you bro). But after months of weekly sessions, I am absolutely convinced that God took me there.
I have heard stories of people getting healed in one moment. It’s happened in my own life in other circumstances; and I pray that for us all. But the reality for most is that the hurts and rejection of the past, combined with actual illness of the mind, require more time, more care and more attention. It starts with us pastors getting help when necessary. It continues with the church as a whole empowering people to do whatever it’s necessary to be made well. It demands open conversations with those who have overcome, and with those who are still struggling.
“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image.” Thomas Merton
It ends with us caring more about people (and their health) than about our limited opinions and hindering theology. The religious mindset wants to control how people heal. It wants to determine the rules of engagement for all scenarios and situations. But spiritual maturity is demonstrated by the increase in realization of the help and grace you need. And the heart of Christ is to heal the brokenhearted.
Maybe you’re the broken-hearted in this scenario, can I encourage to ask for help?
And if it takes visiting an actual doctor to help you with your situation, then I know for a fact that Jesus will be holding your hand the whole way through. He did it for me.
Because Jesus is the hope for everyone struggling with mental illness. And the hope for the church that’s ignoring it.
Might be a good time to stop pretending and start attending to this real need. For my sake.
And yours.
* We can all help prevent suicide. This lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.
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Carlos A. Rodríguez is a pastor, an activist, and a communicator. He's the CEO of The Happy NPO and the author of Simply Sonship, Drop The Stones and the upcoming Proximity. Together with his wife Catherine, they have three gorgeous children and have moved to Puerto Rico to continue relief efforts all over the Caribbean (post hurricane Irma and Maria).
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I dont think you should take “Jesus isnt enough” as the message of this article. I think that God helps those who help themselves and you cant just sit by and pray expecting everything to be healed while you aren’t doing anything to fix it. God would want you to go to a therapist, see a doctor… He put medical professionals in the world, He wants you to utilize that
Charlie,
If you say that seeking help for your mental health means that Jesus is not enough, than you must also say that seeking help for your cancer, or your ear infection or your poison ivy means that Jesus isn’t enough.
I grew up with a fairly normal childhood, went to college and have been married for close to 40 years. However, around age 40 life turned difficult and I was diagnosed with depression. For years I tried to “handle it on my own” because I felt that Christ should be enough. He IS enough! But he still gave us doctors, therapists, and medications to help. I am on a very small dose of an antidepressant and can function, and live with joy! If you’re injured or sick, you go to the doctor. God knows we live in a fallen world. God put physicians and medication in the world to help us. Our struggles help us to help one another.
I agree wholeheartedly with the writer. And inviting a therapist into the room is not leaving Jesus out. Nor is it saying Jesus is not enough. If Jesus can spit in the dirt and put the mud on a man’s eyes to cure his blindness, I feel sure He can use dirty, sinner, therapist like me. Worry not, I am not putting myself down, just realizing that my righteousness is like filthy rags. I am agreeing with the idea that you put on your shirts and mugs:It’s OK to have Jesus and a therapist, too. That, in itself, is not saying Jesus needs help…it is saying that the therapist needs help, as well as any other tool He uses. I pray for my doctors before I go into surgery. It kinda scares some of them, but they usually appreciate it. In seminary, when I was working on my Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Counseling (New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary), we took all the theorist’s ideas (you know even the weird ones like Freud) and filtered them through the Word of God. What came through the filter, we kept, what was held back because it did not stand the litmus test of Scripture was discarde as useless. You see, even Freud got lucky every once in a while and latches onto something that God had already thought of (like the sub-conscious that David talked about when he referred to God knowing his innermost being). We asked a professor once how you can tell the difference in schizophrenia and demon possession. She answered, quite confidently, that if you give a demon-possessed man a medication, you will only have a medicated man who is still quite sick, because the demon is still inside. If you pray over a true schizophrenic, God very well may heal him, but more than likely you will get a very religious schizophrenic or something of the sort.
As a Christian and someone who has previously suffered with depression, I appreciate this article so much.
For Charlie…..This article did not say that Jesus and the Word of God are not enough. Thank God for allowing advancements in medicine and bringing people into our lives who can help. I had a Christian counsellor in the past who said something to me that has stuck with me forever. I was ashamed of needing help and medicine for depression and she asked me this. “If you had diabetes, would you take insulin? If you had cancer, would you take the chemo? Depression is no different. It’s a chemical imbalance in the brain and there is no shame in seeking help for it.”
Thank you for bringing light to the issue of mental illness and showing others that sometimes it’s okay to not be okay. And it’s okay to get help in addition to prayer.