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“Pastors are not meant to get therapy” vs. “Pastors really need to get therapy.”

I used to live by statement number one... probably why I ended up living statement number two.

Let me start by saying that I am still a pastor, I still believe in the absolute power of Jesus to heal the heart and I’m still a huge supporter of church counseling and ministry. But I feel compelled to raise my voice and say:

Therapy is not demonic.

Taking antidepressants is not a sin.

Seeing a psychiatrist is not anti-christian.

And those who suffer from mental health problems are not a failure.

Lord knows we need more openness in our congregations because (and this is a fact) 50% of adults will develop depression, PTSD, anxiety, self-harm, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, or some other mental illness in their lifetime.

Half of the people reading this article already have (or currently are). And for the sake of our family, friends and church leaders, we need to break the shame. Jesus is the hope for each and every one of our needs. He’s the miracle worker who, “healed every disease and every sickness.” And when Jesus healed the leper, the demon possessed, the broken-hearted, he never blamed them for their condition. Jesus is not a religious leader who will condemn us if we seek help, Jesus is the high priest who understands our weaknesses.

“My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.”

Yes, that was Jesus talking about himself in Mark 14:34.

He knows how it feels.

 

To talk of a person’s mental illness like it was a result of a sin, curse, or demon possession is to further stigmatize, shame, and isolate those who are struggling. It is stone throwing people who need understanding and a helping hand. Yes, it is possible that sin and curses and demons are part of the issue, but we need to focus on the person. And admit that we don’t have all the tools or all the answers for the different situations that need attention.

The church is the place many turn while in crisis. We cannot keep turning away the most vulnerable among us. We have to learn how to approach and relate to their specific needs.

As Brandon Peach wrote,

“Most churches probably have the very best intentions when dealing with issues of mental illness. Like the rest of society, however, the Church may misinterpret these clinical conditions and respond to them in ways that exacerbate them—and as a result, demoralize those suffering. Christ, the Great Physician, came to heal the sick. As His body, it’s time the Church leads society in helping to do the same."

In the past the Body of Christ has had three dominating approaches when dealing with mental illness:

  • Treat it exclusively as a spiritual issue.

  • Ignore it completely.

  • Treat it exclusively as a medical issue. 

I write this article not as a pastor, or a doctor or a trained counselor... I approach this subject mostly as a past patient.
A few years ago I needed to visit a psychiatrist to talk about my depression. It was

the first time in my life where I actually felt helpless, totally unmotivated and OK with the idea of suicide. Being able to talk to a professional who could specifically diagnose me and recommend treatment was liberating. Actually, in that moment it was the Godliest thing I could do.

However, I also needed friends who listened. I needed my leaders to pray. I needed God’s word and encouragement. And in certain moments, I just needed to ignore it all and focus on the things I love to do.

There are too many families in our congregations who are struggling with addictions and depression and all sorts of abusive behavior. I know that because that was our case. And in the middle of it, prayer was great... but it wasn’t enough. Sounds heretic just writing it. But it’s necessary that we talk about it.

I spent 8 months with a professional counselor who taught me how to manage my anger, improve my moods and take ownership of my situation. He gave me books to read, coached me with technics for relaxation and he saw Catherine and I together for marriage guidance. He used specific evidenced-based treatments to treat my conditions and used cognitive behavioral therapy (stuff I would have never considered before) because after many years in full time ministry and after 10 years of terrible behavior as a husband, I needed professional help.

I used to be so ashamed to share it. Now, I celebrate where God has taken me individually and where God has taken us a couple. And I am so glad I didn’t just go for ministry, or a one-time repentance fix, but actually invested money and time with a health care professional.

It was not perfect. A few times I considered punching my therapist (Hi Dolan! Love you bro). But after months of weekly sessions, I am absolutely convinced that God took me there.

I have heard stories of people getting healed in one moment. It’s happened in my own life in other circumstances; and I pray that for us all. But the reality for most is that the hurts and rejection of the past, combined with actual illness of the mind, require more time, more care and more attention. It starts with us pastors getting help when necessary. It continues with the church as a whole empowering people to do whatever it’s necessary to be made well. It demands open conversations with those who have overcome, and with those who are still struggling.

“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image.” Thomas Merton

It ends with us caring more about people (and their health) than about our limited opinions and hindering theology. The religious mindset wants to control how people heal. It wants to determine the rules of engagement for all scenarios and situations. But spiritual maturity is demonstrated by the increase in realization of the help and grace you need. And the heart of Christ is to heal the brokenhearted.

Maybe you’re the broken-hearted in this scenario, can I encourage to ask for help?

And if it takes visiting an actual doctor to help you with your situation, then I know for a fact that Jesus will be holding your hand the whole way through. He did it for me.

Because Jesus is the hope for everyone struggling with mental illness. And the hope for the church that’s ignoring it.

Might be a good time to stop pretending and start attending to this real need. For my sake.

And yours.

* We can all help prevent suicide. This lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.

1-800-273-8255

---

Carlos A. Rodríguez is a pastor, an activist, and a communicator. He's the CEO of The Happy NPO and the author of Simply Sonship, Drop The Stones and the upcoming Proximity. Together with his wife Catherine, they have three gorgeous children and have moved to Puerto Rico to continue relief efforts all over the Caribbean (post hurricane Irma and Maria).
Support their non-profit by purchasing items from our "It's Ok" Collection.
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97 comentarios sobre Dear Church, Let's Talk About Mental Health
  • Mia
    Mia

    Of course God uses doctor’s and medicine to heal, but let this article not distract from the idea that Jesus can and does heal without those things. Let this article not distract from the thought that we must have Faith first and we always, always need prayer first. To say prayer isn’t enoug is displaying lack of faith. Pastor, preacher, Sunday school teacher to patron of the church does not indicate more knowledge or closeness to the Lord so hoping the audience here doesn’t take this article to heart just because the author is a Pastor with depression. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God… You can be delivered from depression and anxiety without drugs. I have 100%. I never have a depression or anxiety. Sadness, yes. nervousness, yes, but not the same things at all. Through Him all things are possible.

    June 03, 2019
  • Dan
    Dan

    Charlie,
    I bet you go to a doctor when you break your leg…or is Jesus enough? He has given people wisdom and brains to figure out how to treat many illnesses and conditions. I have needed therapists, counselors, medication, and psychiatric help and give God the credit for working the healing. My drawn out healing has given me depth of understanding to walk alongside others that I wouldn’t have had with quick healing. Praise God!

    June 03, 2019
  • Evan Donovan
    Evan Donovan

    Charlie,

    If you had a heart attack, would you go to the emergency room? If you had diabetes, would you take insulin?

    Unless you believe that Jesus being the Great Physician means that we can’t go see physicians for our physical health, then it is inconsistent to oppose people seeing psychiatrists and therapists for their mental health – particularly when many practice from a Christian perspective.

    Just two examples of people trying to integrate faith and therapy:

    - Pastor Rick Warren’s Hope for Mental Health seminars
    - My friend Sarah Jones’ site mentalchristians.com

    June 03, 2019
  • Beverly Hueigh
    Beverly Hueigh

    What stigma our church host a mental illness / bipolar support group every 3sat of each month for family’s that are impact by their love to hear from you

    June 03, 2019
  • KEN
    KEN

    Charlie, with all due respect, that is NOT the message of this article. Of course Jesus can heal anything with a mere thought…but He doesn’t always work like that. Many times he uses Doctors and medicine as the healing mechanism…Can a Christian diabetic be healed by prayer? Of course they can, but is that a guarantee from Scripture? No it is not…many times God uses medicine such as insulin as His method and answer to prayer and healing. When you break your arm, is it not OK to go to the Dr. to get it fixed? Are you lacking in faith because you went to the Emergency Room to get the bones set? Even many kinds of mental illness are due to a chemical imbalance in the body…Is it a lack of faith and trust in Jesus to take a Medicine to help restore that chemical imbalance?
    Brother, the type of thinking demonstrated by the questions you ask in your comment is EXACTLY what the author is warning the Body of Christ against…
    Lastly, I don’t agree with your premise for asking the questions, "What is Gods best for us? What did Jesus die for? Didn’t He say it is finished? Did He not do a complete and perfect work? What’s His will for us? " These questions have more to do with our Salvation and paying the price for our sins, than our mere physical healing.
    I mean no offense to you, but I have run into this kind of thinking before, and it is a very limiting and short-sighted view…EVERYTHING that is GOOD comes from God and if He chooses multiple ways to heal, who are we to say He can’t???

    June 03, 2019
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